Hammer and Nigel read satirical poem the night before midterms

The night before Election Day, Hammer and Nigel read a satirical poem to their listeners. The hosts adapted a familiar holiday rhyme to mock the midterm race. They urged audiences to gather around and await the end of political attack ads.

The verse targets several political figures and local personalities. It references Beau Bayh lifting weights in Washington and Max Engling shouting that he is not Diego Morales. The poem also mentions Libertarian candidate Laurie Shillings campaigning with class. It notes that Greg Ballard started his own party so Republicans could leave his previous association behind.

Bernie Sanders appears in the text as upset that death row inmates cannot vote. He argues that imprisonment for sexual assault or murder should not remove an American's right to participate in democracy. The hosts also depict Donald Trump holding back-to-back rallies. A confused Joe Biden reportedly told minorities that they were not black.

Other local figures receive ribbing in the reading. El-Sayed's ally Piker is described as thinking 9-11 was neat. Talarico is said to be in Texas and afraid to eat meat. The poem calls for voters to fire Ryan Mears.

The reading ends with a reference to Judge Kavanaugh. He is quoted as saying, "Yes, we drank beer. I liked beer. Sometimes I had too many beers." The hosts remind listeners to vote and avoid Hammer's bad list.

The segment serves as a traditional pre-election ritual for the show. It combines local political humor with national references. The hosts invite the audience to enjoy the final night before the polls open.